{"id":9665,"date":"2014-11-22T04:55:27","date_gmt":"2014-11-22T12:55:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/geoffmobile.com\/blog\/should-i-smile-a-speech-by-geoff-peters-at-best-run-toastmasters"},"modified":"2014-11-22T04:57:56","modified_gmt":"2014-11-22T12:57:56","slug":"should-i-smile-a-speech-by-geoff-peters-at-best-run-toastmasters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/geoffmobile.com\/blog\/should-i-smile-a-speech-by-geoff-peters-at-best-run-toastmasters","title":{"rendered":"Should I Smile? &#8211; a speech by Geoff Peters at Best Run Toastmasters"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"video-container-outer\">\n<div class=\"video-container\"><iframe class=\"video-iframe\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/j78zjvQemeM\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Should I smile? &#8211; Speech by Geoff Peters <a href=\"http:\/\/geoffmobile.com\" class=\"autohyperlink\">geoffmobile.com<\/a><br \/>\nNovember 20th 2014<br \/>\nBest Run Toastmasters, Vancouver BC Canada<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/toastmasters.org\" class=\"autohyperlink\">toastmasters.org<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Please subscribe :) <a href=\"http:\/\/youtube.com\/geoffmobile\" class=\"autohyperlink\">youtube.com\/geoffmobile<\/a><\/p>\n<p>One shouldn\u2019t ask a woman (or man) to smile because they would look more pretty, because that is sexist, but as a teacher or mentor one can ask a person (including a woman) to smile if she wants to be more successful in business (as a public speaking coach)<\/p>\n<p>Two kinds of smiles : a genuine smile that uses the eyes (Duchenne), and a fake polite smile that uses the mouth only<\/p>\n<p>Smiling is a cultural thing: in some countries smiling is accepted, and in other countries smiling is not as common (Sabrina said about smiling in germany it\u2019s not very common, whereas in the US you always consider someone who smiles more to be charming ,engaging , or charismatic.<\/p>\n<p>In this speech, I will answer the question, should I be always smiling? How to relax to smile? And how to smile to become a better communicator?<\/p>\n<p>My Smiling Story &#8211; should I always be smiling?<\/p>\n<p>People always say I smile so much<br \/>\nI am nervous so I smile<br \/>\nI don\u2019t know what to do so I smile<br \/>\nI feel that I need to have people like me, so I smile<br \/>\nEvaluators often comments that I am \u201calways smiling\u201d &#8211; always is not a good thing in public speaking, it\u2019s better to have variety<br \/>\nSmiling too much is a sign of nervousness in actors &#8211; tell story of acting class<br \/>\nLearning to have a variety of facial expressions will be natural<\/p>\n<p>Relaxing to smile &#8211; How to relax to smile?<\/p>\n<p>Looking natural and relaxed is actually something that needs to be learned<br \/>\nSmiling makes my facial muscles tense<br \/>\nRelaxing the face through Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercises was a revolution, my face never felt relaxed ever before<br \/>\nTo know that people will still pay attention even if I am not smiling<br \/>\nTo have enough self confidence and self esteem that I am a valuable person, that I take up space, and that I am good enough, no matter what<br \/>\nHow can I still learn things if I am already good enough?<br \/>\nPerhaps I need to stay teachable and humble, but also know that as a person I am already good enough at being and existing<\/p>\n<p>Smile to Engage &#8211; How to smile to become a better communicator?<\/p>\n<p>Smiling can be a powerful tool<br \/>\nI taught a 6 week course in public speaking<br \/>\nResearch: Are smiling people more engaging<br \/>\nAlex saw the hula dancers, and couldn\u2019t take his eyes off of the dancer who was smiling<br \/>\nWhen you smile the whole world or the whole room smiles with you<br \/>\nSmiling is fun<br \/>\nDo you need to learn to smile?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s Ok Not to smile, but try to relax<\/p>\n<p>Some people have a natural resting face that is not smiley (e.g. suzanne, business person, successful executive, has a natural serious face)<br \/>\nSome people have a natural smile when they are resting?<br \/>\nDoes it take energy to smile, more than frowning?<br \/>\nIs it ok to completely relax? Is it ok to be completely relaxed in the face, or how much expression or feedback should be shown when listening to someone? How can I know that someone is paying attention?<\/p>\n<p>Relaxing is so important to performance &#8211; Bill Murray example, as an actor he discovered that when he is his most relaxed he has the best performance on his job.<\/p>\n<p>Conclusion<\/p>\n<p>The purpose of Facial Expressions (smiling)<br \/>\nPart of Body Language<br \/>\nYour face provides feedback to someone if you are listening, and your face conveys meaning when you are speaking. When you are communicating your face is always providing output to the world, should be a reflection of your current feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Comes down to it: be yourself, and try to relax, and smile if you want to. It\u2019s your face so you can use it how ever you want to express yourself.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<br \/>\nAdditional notes: <br \/>\nSmiling all the time<\/p>\n<p>Relaxing &#8211; shouldn\u2019t smile all the time, because smiling may involve tension (is it possible to relax and also smile at the same time? Can we separate a nervous smile with a relaxed smile?)<\/p>\n<p>Engagement &#8211; be interested in others. Listening is more important. In TM we listen more than we speak. You have two ears so you should listen twice as much as you speak.<br \/>\nSmiling rocks! I love smiling. I want to be less nervous and more relaxed. I want to be a more effective and powerful communicator.<br \/>\n I want to be an effective writer.<br \/>\nHow many muscles does it take to smile, compared to frowning?<\/p>\n<p>Further reading:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Smile-With-the-Eyes\" class=\"autohyperlink\">www.wikihow.com\/Smile-With-the-Eyes<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/online.wsj.com\/articles\/SB10000872396390443624204578058854229152678\" class=\"autohyperlink\">online.wsj.com\/articles\/SB10000872396390443624204578058854229152678<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/2012books.lardbucket.org\/books\/a-primer-on-communication-studies\/index.html\" class=\"autohyperlink\">2012books.lardbucket.org\/books\/a-primer-on-communication-studies\/index.html<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/digest.bps.org.uk\/2012\/11\/most-people-can-fake-genuine-duchenne.html\" class=\"autohyperlink\">digest.bps.org.uk\/2012\/11\/most-people-can-fake-genuine-duchenne.html<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=j78zjvQemeM&#038;feature=youtube_gdata_player\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"120\" height=\"90\"  src=\"https:\/\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/j78zjvQemeM\/0.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"  width=\"120\" height=\"90\"  src=\"https:\/\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/j78zjvQemeM\/0.jpg\" \/><br \/>Should I Smile? &#8211; a speech by Geoff Peters at Best Run Toastmasters<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10761,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"hide_page_title":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4,2908,1085,113,429,33,3,8038,5],"tags":[4970,9018,8901,8603,3194,8255,8991,8600,8902,9028,2982,8597,8257,8598,8602,41,8913,3248,769,8599,8601,444,1222,8596,8595,8594,9326,9167,9077,2835,8899,8925,574],"class_list":["post-9665","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts","category-fashion-2","category-ideas","category-videos","category-marketing","category-media","category-people","category-public-speaking-2","category-vancouver","tag-acting-class","tag-advice","tag-bc","tag-being-genuine","tag-best-run-toastmasters","tag-body-language","tag-business","tag-business-coach","tag-canada","tag-canadian","tag-coaching","tag-duchenne-smile","tag-facial-expressions","tag-fake-smile","tag-genuine-smile","tag-geoff-peters","tag-geoffmobile","tag-gestures","tag-how-to","tag-how-to-be-more-engaging","tag-how-to-smile-with-the-eyes","tag-man","tag-public-speaking","tag-sexism","tag-sexist","tag-should-i-smile","tag-smiling","tag-speech","tag-toastmasters","tag-training","tag-vancouver","tag-video","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Should I Smile? 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